Not what I was expecting...

Warning...you may want to grab a cup of coffee or a diet coke...along with a snack...this is a wordy one!!



FINALLY...Mr. Blogger is letting me post AND include pictures!! You know how I dislike posting w/o some kind of props...anyhoo...here's the story from my Valentines evening...I know somebody is filming all of this and one day we'll each be viewing it on some totally obscure television station!!
I was hoping to post all about these types of lovelies...


sadly this won't be the case...


Many of you know that my lovin' hubbin' has been traveling quite a bit as of late for business...so we knew he would not be home for Valentines Day ( this was the first time we've been apart on this day in over 30 years)
so...when the cats away the mice will play....RIGHT...I decided to hook up with my sister and daughter-in-law for a fun evening out; to relax while having a pedicure, possibly do a little shopping and eating at some restaurant that didn't have lines around the block. It was a beautiful...evening...almost...spring like!! The girls and I had a lot of fun...a good meal and lots of talk and laughter...we deemed ourselves the Valentines Widows...b/c all of our men were either working or sick! Yes the evening was a winner thus far! I was really starting to enjoy myself and learned not to be so hung up on not having hubbin' home!! Being the "good" girl I am...I headed home around 9:30...I needed to get home because neither of the dogs had eaten since breakfast AND it had been a while since they were able to do their "business" and as you all know if I'm anything...I'm a dutiful dog owner. I arrive home around 10ish...cruise into my sweet little parking place in the garage...hear the girls doing their "greeting" song and dance at the backdoor...and I let myself in the house. The girls were ready to go outside...so I left the garage door open and they were free to go be... well, dogs! I went approximately 10 steps into the kitchen to drop off my keys, slip off my shoes and retrieve the phone so I could call baby sister and let her know I made it home, because well, she told me I had to!! BEFORE I EVEN stepped outside...Thirty seconds I tell you! Thirty Blooming seconds...a sudden end came to my lovely evening...a virtual screaching stop...if you will!!!I could tell and I could smell...OH YEA!!...Summer had arrived and I was NOT liking what I smelled....I screamed MAGGIE...NO-OOOOOO!! Of course it was too late...she ran past me like her tail was on fire...and believe it or not the little one "Cookie" was passing her! They had been sprayed by a skunk...a dirty rotten, flea infested...probably rabie carrying...bonafide party pooper of a skunk...with pin-point accuracy I might add... Poor Maggie got the worst of it...she was sprayed directly in the face...leaving me to conclude her nose was somewhere other than were it belonged!! Cookie (the little shi-zu who actually looks like Pepe Lapew...ironic isn't it?) was pelted with some of the mass amounts of foam off of Maggie as she was convulsing...because...WELL you've smelled skunks...you can just imagine the fit she was having!!! I'm here to tell ya...the dead ones on the side of the road...don't even come close to stinking like this. Take my word for it...it is a smell that will stay with you for a very long time...whether you like it or not!! YES...this has happened before.

The sad or FUNNY part as I'm sure the videograhers can attest to was when I was trying to bathe both dogs...outside...at the same time ALL BY MYSELF...yea...I was not doing the "happy dance"! I ran back into the house...slammed the door shut before the foulness could enter my home...and quickly gathered my "wash away the stink stash"...something I learned to stock up on from the last encounter...I quickly shed any decent clothing I may have had on...leapt into sweat pants/long sleeve tee and rubber boots...found the disposable rubber gloves...and headed outside with my stink arsenol...all in under 45 seconds...yes...I was flying!! I found the huge wash tub all the while still trying to pay attention in case the attacker was still lurking about (picture private eye crouching about while using the tub as a type of shield) Did I mention it was DARK out...and we live in the country!! I began filling the tub with water. tomato juice and vinegar...during which time I was trying to soothe Maggie and find Cookie...yes, she likes to skee-daddle if she thinks for one minute she may have to encounter bathing or anything representing something that might make her smell good! After dousing Maggie in Tomato Juice, vinegar and water...I attempted to place Cookie in the wash tub for her "Bloody Mary bath" minus the vodka...yea...I should have thought to use that for myself! While trying to hold on to Maggie at the end of her leash as she is writhing about during her "freak out" ( I couldn't risk letting her go b/c she could have been subjected to round 2 for all I knew)! Cookie of course did not want to stay in the tub...I just knew I had to at least get her started soaking or it would be another all-nighter. So, I was basically balancing on one foot trying to contain Maggie with the leash (washable of course) while I am semi-pushing on Cookie with my other galoshed foot to keep her in the tub! For anyone that knows me...well, this is a feat within itself...b/c I am not coordinated nor do I have great balance!! At this point I'm really needing to rinse Maggies face...b/c of the mass amounts of foam accumalating (think rabid dog)...and all that slinging of the "smell" she was throwing about! Now I'm trying to reach for the water hose that of course is just "out of my reach"....so stetching as far as I could I managed to wrangle the hose back to within grabbing distance! At the same time, I'm trying to keep my "calm" voice so as not to excite the poor things, not to mention I didn't want my closest neighbor who lives about 100 yards away to hear what I REALLY wanted to say!! Suffice it to say...Cookie did not stay in the bloody mary bath...hmmmm...maybe I should have added the vodka and Maggie was not happy about being subjected to multiple layers of culinary delights along with the cold water shower!! I managed to calm Maggie down long enough to call my truly great friend (yes I'm a good girl scout...always prepared, the phone was in my pocket) and ask if her daughter was home ( I asked for her b/c she doesn't mind these kinds of things...she loves animals of all kinds and is always helpful)...FOLKS...it's VALENTINES...the girl is gorgeous...so well OF COURSE she is out with her beau! Luckily my friend said she would be over in 5...whew! She was a tremendous life saver...truly!! (Now you know why it will be great when we move into our new house...she will be one 5 acre lot away from me) What a relief to know I wasn't going to be the only one soaking up all the Valentines love and the lovely aroma wafting in the night air! It's true...misery does LOVE company...and after all isn't that what Valentines is all about...THE LOVE!! I was ever so happy to share that love...and I was thrilled that my friend and I had decided we needed to be friends so many years ago...of course she was a life saver...she helped bathe Cookie while I tended to Maggie...we cleaned them up...sterilized and sanitized the utiltiy area with smell good floor cleaner, baking soda and vinegar...it reminded me of a salad dressing with a touch of pine added to compliment the flavors....we started the washing machine with a load of skunk scented towels and basically lit every candle in my home! Candles I just bought earlier from Pier 1...Candles I was saving for another day or for giving away to a friend...Candles I am so glad that were on sale...and were now filling my home with the lovely scent of roses, cilantro lime and just a touch...a small tinge...of eau de skunk...a winning combo if I do say so myself!


Today things are much better...Maggie will have to endure a couple more baths...but honestly the smell is gone from the house...mostly...just a tab bit of a smell, kind of like someone is getting a perm in the utility area of the house where the girls beds are...so more bathing...washing the bedding AGAIN...mopping lots and lots...confinement to their sleeping area and we'll be good as new in a few days! I left the windows open all day until it got so cold I couldn't stand it...yea...spring-like yesterday...Cold, wet and rainy today! Good ole' Texas weather...

So tell me...how did you spend your Valentines evening???...or do I really want to know???...YES...I went to bed...after lathering up and soaking in the tub for a very long time...singing and repeating..."happy valentines day to me!!" It's so good to be me!! lol